Today’s Readings:
Sirach 3:2-6,12-14; Psalm 128:1-5; Matthew 2:13-15,19-23
Marriage is sweet, a source of pride for the married and anxiety for the unmarried. But this sweetness is not without its sour aftertaste. The problems in marriage today stem from a poor understanding of what it is about and who should enter it. Any fertile man or female can conceive a baby but not all of them are fit to be parents. Most single people can do well alone, but they make terrible spouses. If you are single and are waiting on “marriage settlement”, I have something important for you in the last paragraph of this reflection.
Why is it that over 50 percent of marriages in Nigeria today are unhappy and 3 out of every 10, end in separation, divorce or dissolution? The answer lies in a poor understanding of the institution of marriage. As we celebrate the feast of the Holy Family, I want you to consider the following questions before deciding to take the next step in your relationship if you are unmarried. This list will also help you make necessary amends in your marriage and chart a better course for your relationship moving forward:
FOREVER SOMETHING – Do you intend to stay in the marriage forever?
SACRIFICE – Are you willing to set aside your own preferences to do things the way your spouse wants it without making a fuss about it?
LEADERSHIP – Do you trust and respect the man enough to allow him lead your family?
COMMUNICATION – Will you accept useful feedback from your spouse and make amends where necessary without being defensive?
FAITH – Will you two agree on issues of faith and spirituality, make it the pillar of your home and family life and help each other make heaven?
CHILDREN – Will you be good examples of love and mutual respect, and model a good home for them so they too can grow and aspire to be good parents tomorrow?
LISTENING – Will you listen quietly as your spouse speaks without interrupting or shuffling and respond respectfully when it is your turn to speak?
GENEROSITY – Will you be generous with your words and actions and preserve the good reputation of your spouse behind their back?
FORGIVENESS – Will you be the first to apologise over a misunderstanding even if you are not wrong? Will you refuse to sleep until you two have reconciled with each other?
FIDELITY – Will you be faithful to your spouse even when he or she has been unfaithful to you?
MONEY – Will you disclose your earnings to your spouse and not see their income as a threat to your ego? Will you work together to plan out a budget and learn contentment with what you have?
CHOICE – Will you fight for your love and not play the victim in your marriage?
COUNSELLING – Will you seek professional help from a marriage counsellor or your priest on a regular basis to resolve lingering issues in your marriage?
The Holy Family is such because they chose to work together on the above listed questions and relied on the grace of God to carry them out diligently. Ask them today to intercede for your marriage and help you return to the right path once more.
Dear single person, marriage is not a settlement. It is a vocation and a choice to cooperate with God’s grace and work with another Christian to fulfil a call to holiness. If you are yet to find a spouse, pray, keep working on yourself and do not be in a hurry. If you are not comfortable being single, you will never be content in marriage. Read that last line again. God bless you.
JUDE MARY OWOH
Prayer:
Father, thank you because You are my Great Provider, in Jesus’ name.
I praise You Lord for Your majestic splendour, in Jesus’ name.
Father let Your word have free course and be glorified in me, in Jesus’ name.
Father help Christian homes to live up to their duties to raise God fearing families, in Jesus name.
Arise Lord in Your mighty power and let every satanic warfare against Your Church scatter, in Jesus’ name.
O Lord arise in Your mighty power and break the backbone of corruption, self-centeredness, compromise and wickedness in our nation, in Jesus’ name.
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