HOW DO YOU RESPOND TO BEREAVEMENT?
- Olufunmilayo Adekusibe
- Sep 13, 2024
- 4 min read
Today’s Reading:
2 Samuel 12:15 – 25
“So David arose from the ground, washed and anointed himself….and he went into the house of the Lord and worshipped”. (v. 20)
The Bible, in its completeness, in Eccl. 3:2, confirms that there is a time to be born and a time to die. It is, therefore, natural and part of life to die. When anyone dies, it is unpleasant and causes unhappiness to the loved ones left behind. This is referred to as “bereavement”, which is a condition of being bereaved, which means the loss of a close relation or friend through their death. One is deprived of a loved one. Many examples abound in the scripture of bereavements, starting from the first parents – Adam and Eve who lost their son – Cain. Jacob lost his second wife – Rachel, during the birth of his son Benjamin (Gen. 35: 16-18). Many kings of Israel lost dear loved ones, including David. Even Jesus was bereaved, as He wept at the tomb of Lazarus before He raised him (John 11:35). There are various ways by which people respond to bereavements, and these vary based on different reasons, apart from natural comportments. Some of the commonest responses include weeping, mourning, sobbing, sorrowing, grieving, hurting, sadness, trauma. Aside from these, some specific or peculiar responses include; cursing God or small gods or self or others; laying blame on self or others; falling into depression; withdrawal from public or church or activities; attempts and the actual taking of lives; revenge especially if the source of death is known; harming self, etc.
It is important to mention that many factors have been found to influence people’s responses to bereavements, such as lack of knowledge of what becomes of the dead; the thought of not knowing where the dead will end – hell or heaven; the knowledge or information about the source of death; the position or status of the dead in the family e.g. youngest or breadwinner; etc. It is instructive to learn some lessons from David’s responses to bereavement in Today’s reading. David was a man of sorrow, who had many bereavements in life, both within and outside of his family. He mourned over Saul, Jonathan, and his son - Absalom, all of who died in battles. However, in Today’s reading, it was his son, born to him by Bathsheba, Uriah’s wife he took, who died after God struck him sick and then died, being born as a result of adultery. Before the child died, David had wept, refused to eat, laid on the ground, fasted, did not heed his servants and had the likelihood of harming himself.
Ironically it seemed, when he was eventually told by the seventh day that the child had died, we read in v20 that David rose from the ground, washed and anointed himself, changed his clothes and he went to the house of the Lord and worshipped. This response, which is unlike all those listed above, was not even heard of then, as it baffled his servants. When asked about his strange response, David’s answer in v23 is a pointer to the depth and knowledge he had of God. He said the child could not be brought back to life, but that he would go to him, but he would not return to him. This was a deep revelation, only from God, since this was in the Old Testament days when Jesus had not come to the world to die, resurrect and give the assurance of life after this life on earth.
In this dispensation, our response to bereavement should be based on our knowledge and relationship with God and Christ. When we are sure that the dead accepted Christ as Lord and Saviour, our response to bereavement should be that of thanksgiving, worship and comfort in the fact that our loved one has only been temporarily separated from us until the time we would all be reunited. This could be at the rapture or individually if Jesus tarries. There is life after death (I Thess. 4:13-18). When one dies, the soul and spirit go back to God and are united with loved ones who have gone before. If David of old had this revelation, how much more we of this dispensation!
CHRISTIE KUPOLUYI
To surrender your life to Christ, say this prayer aloud. “Father, I have your voice today, and acknowledge my sin against You. I repent and ask for forgiveness (Confess your sins), in the name of Jesus. I surrender to the Lordship of Jesus. By the power of Your Holy Spirit, take control of my heart, lead me in Your path of righteousness and write my name in Your book of life. Thank you, Lord.”
If you said the prayer, Congratulations! Prayerfully look for a Bible-believing and living church and report to the resident reverend, pastor or priest.
Prayer:
Father Almighty, we thank you that you have made provision for life after death so that our bereavements are temporary.
Precious Lord, help us to accept you as Lord and salvation and our loved ones so that we would all end up with you in eternity.
Lord, teach us to handle our bereavements with the knowledge that it is temporary.
Father, help the church to teach the spiritual way to handle bereavement among the people.
Father, may our nation be revived, and the people come to salvation and be helped to bereave appropriately.
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