FRIEND WITH SENSE

Olufunmilayo Adekusibe
Mar 21
3 min read

Today’s Readings:

Numbers 6:22-27

Psalm 67:2-3,5,6,8

Galatians 4:4-7

Luke 2:16-21

Let us talk about friendship on this second day of the year. Today we celebrate two great friends, Saints Basil the Great and Gregory Nazianzen (both born in 330AD). The people you call friends will either help you keep your new year resolution or help you scatter it to pieces. Is it that serious? Yes, it is. We underestimate the influence that people have on us. It is often imperceptible because friendship begins with exposure to the other person, without warning, and it grows without permission.

Friendship exposes you to new ways of thinking, new ways of living, new habits and a different life from what you are used to. The more time you spend with a person, the more you become like them. Your discovery of your shared interests will bind you together. Your trust for them will make you abandon some of your values in favour of theirs. If you cannot think for yourself, it won’t be long before you are unrecognisable. The bond of friendship is not easily broken. But when it breaks, it can signal the end of years of memories, mutuality and misadventures. When friendships end, it can leave a scar which may never heal. In conclusion, ‘friend with sense’.

Here are my top ten rules for friendship to avoid stories that touch:

Choose people who admire you just like Saint Gregory (Bros G) admired Saint Basil (Big B). Bros G said of Big B, “I was not alone at that time in my regard for my friend, the great Basil. I knew his irreproachable conduct, and the maturity and wisdom of his conversation. I sought to persuade others, to whom he was less well known, to have the same regard for him."
Know what you want out of the friendship. Listen to Bros G again, “When, over time, we acknowledged our friendship and recognised that our ambition was a life of true wisdom, we became everything to each other: we shared the same lodging, the same table, the same desires, the same goal.”
Be aware that your friend is also someone else’s friend.
Some friendships will last longer than others. Know this and know peace.
Some friendships will come to an end. Don’t fight it.
Lasting friendships are built on trust and sacrifice.
Distance yourself sometimes from certain friends and see if they notice.
Pray for your friends. They are fighting battles you are unaware of.
Love your own company but not too much. If everyone seems to be against you, you need to tell yourself some hard truths about yourself.
Heaven should always be the goal of your friendship. Here is what Bros G says about it, “Our single object and ambition was virtue, and a life of hope in the blessings that are to come; we wanted to withdraw from this world before we departed from it. With this end in view, we ordered our lives and all our actions.”