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  • Writer's pictureOlufunmilayo Adekusibe

FIRST STEPS TO A SOLID RELATIONSHIP

 

Today’s Readings:

1 John 3:7-10

Psalm 98:1, 7-9

John 1:35-42

 


Most relationships crash today because they lack a solid foundation. It matters little if you have known a person for a day or a thousand years, the formula for a solid relationship is the same. Just like sports and winning championships, the key is to excel at the basics. You have to count one before proceeding to 2, 3 and 4. Almost all relationships follow the same set of rules and they are:


  • EVERYONE IS VALUABLE—every person you meet is unique, beautiful and priceless. Their value is innate and is not dependent on your perception. So, even if things do not work out between you two, never stop respecting them and wishing them well.

  • PRAY BEFORE YOU ENTER—God is the author of relationships. Because He knows all of us, we should seek His face when we wish to enter any form of relationship. Someone might be good but not good for you. If you enter the relationship first before you start to seek His face, you may find yourself struggling to impose your ideas of this person on God, until you cannot any longer. Save yourself the stress and ask God, “Lord, reveal this person’s true identity to me so that I know what I am getting into. Amen”.

  • KEEP IT CLEAN—No matter the relationship, you are safest when you enter the relationship with the best of intentions and not with fear and doubt. After all, they are human beings like yourself. Ask questions, be willing to answer some yourself, take it one day at a time and don’t do what God and good morals disapprove of.

  • YOU ARE A WORK IN PROGRESS—Remember what I said earlier about being the right person for your partner? The way to improve your relationship is to improve yourself. Be willing to change some things about yourself that the other person may not be comfortable with unless they are asking you to do something wrong and sinful.

  • LISTEN TO YOUR MASTER—In today’s Gospel, John the Baptist pointed his disciples to Jesus and they followed him. Seek advice and prayers from persons more experienced than you. Their counsel might prove invaluable to you in the long term.

  • FOLLOW WHO KNOWS THE ROAD—John’s disciples followed Jesus and when he asked them what they wanted, they asked where he lived. They followed him and spent the day with him. Relationship is about vision (how you and the other person see the world). If your visions align and intersect in the areas that you value (family, faith, financial literacy etc.), do not hesitate to move along with them. If not, dust your shoes and pick your race.

  • SHOW OTHERS THE WAY—Andrew went to call Peter his brother after experiencing Jesus. Do not hesitate to share the lessons you have learnt about relationships with others. There is always someone in need of direction (an intern in a company, a new student in class, a struggling teenager). Guide them in the right way of doing things.

  • DO A DAILY REVIEW—Relationships are built daily. Review how well you have related to the people in your life each day. These relationships are shaping your character. Know when others are influencing you negatively and when someone is helping you become better.

  • KNOW WHEN TO WALK AWAY—the scariest part of a relationship is the point where you say, “Goodbye”. We hate goodbyes but sadly, you may have to say the words when things are not working out. I say this for relationships which are not permanently binding (like marriage). If the situation can still be salvaged, give it a try.

  • DO NOT BE AFRAID—every good relationship is built on love. Love is the opposite of fear.

JUDE-MARY OWOH


 

To surrender your life to Christ, say this prayer aloud: Father, thank you for Jesus Christ. Forgive my sins, take control of my heart and lead me in your righteous path by the power of Your Holy Spirit. Thank You, Lord. Congratulations! Prayerfully look for a living church and report to the resident pastor or priest.


Pray:

  1. Lord, guide me in my choices of who to relate with and how to navigate my relationships. Lead me only to those who will help me draw closer to you and be the best version of myself in Jesus' name. Amen.

  2. Lord, bless those I relate with and bless me through them this year. May our relationships be founded on You, nourished by You and grow to perfection in You through Christ our Lord. Amen.

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