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COUNT THE COST

  • Writer: Olufunmilayo Adekusibe
    Olufunmilayo Adekusibe
  • Feb 5
  • 4 min read

Today’s Reading:

Luke 14: 28-30

“But don’t begin until you count the cost. For who would begin construction of a building without first getting estimates and then checking to see if he has enough money to pay the bills.”

(Luke 14:28 TLB)

He who fails to plan is planning to fail goes the popular saying. Planning is vital in achieving success in all walks of life. Planning is like the foundation upon which to build our life pursuit. There are several relationships people venture into but one major relationship that requires planning before going into is marital relationship. If one wants to build a godly home as a single, there is need to count the cost. In my few years of counselling with singles and young couples, I have discovered that many do not count the cost before venturing into marriage. Broken homes are becoming a norm among the pew and the saddest thing is that even the pulpit are not spared from this menace. I have seen three types of marriage in the church today; traditional, western and godly marriage. The traditional marriage is that where the husband is authoritative and the wife has no say, this kind of marriage is sick and cannot last in our dispensation. Another one is the western type of marriage which is based on a contract and not a covenant. These two types of marriages are bound to fail. The only marriage that will last is that built on Christ though not without challenges, but it will survive as long as Christ is the foundation and head of such home.


Singles need to count the cost before venturing into marriage by doing the following:

1. Build a Relationship: This could be a vertical or horizontal relationship. A Vertical relationship is what you have with God. For you to enter into a marital relationship with anyone this type of relationship is not negotiable. Is he/she born again? What does he/she do in church? Does he/she have a consistent walk with God? Can people both within and outside of the church testify of the life of that person you claim you want to journey with into marriage? The other relationship is horizontal.  How does he/she relate with people both at home and at work? If someone cannot relate well at work and at home, such a person is not fit to go into marriage. Singles, don’t ever journey with anyone unless you check the relationship status both vertically and horizontally. A relationship can lead to friendship then to courtship and marriage. Some single ladies lack suitors because of a lack of good relationships.


2. Purpose Discovery: In Jeremiah 1:5, the Lord said about Jeremiah, “I knew you before you were formed within your mother’s womb; before you were born I sanctified you and appointed you as my spokesman to the world”. A man without a goal is a goat. If you don’t know where you are going, you have no business taking someone along. A brother who hasn’t discovered his purpose has no business proposing to a lady let alone going into marriage. The purpose is God’s ordination upon your life. It is God’s signature in your DNA. It is the divine deposit upon your life. It is the solution you were created to solve. It is that thing that brings pleasure, divinity and humanity to you. It is what you do joyfully without being paid for it. Purpose singles you out for meaningful impact. How do you discover your purpose? Purpose discovery can be summed up into three: Ask God (look upward), ask yourself (look inward) and ask people (look outward). Purpose discovery guides you in choosing a life partner. You are to journey with that individual whose purpose agrees with yours.


3.  Develop Your Character: In Proverbs 31:30, the scripture says; that charm can be deceptive and beauty doesn’t last, but a woman who fears and reverences God shall be greatly praised. Character is who you are when no one is watching. It is the hidden man of the heart. It is the content not the container of a person. Character attracts people to you. Charisma can take a man to the top but the character will sustain him there and keep the height. A person who lacks character lacks a major ingredient needed to sustain a Christian marriage. As a single, develop your character and make sure the person you want to marry also develops his/her character. It is not what he drives that matters but who is driving him. It is not his bank account that matters but who he is accountable to. Physique is physical and it is temporary while character is hidden and it is eternal (Corinthians 4:18). It takes character on the part of both parties to sustain a Christian marriage.

                                                                                                JAMES ALADE



To surrender your life to Christ, say this prayer aloud. “Father, I acknowledge my sin against You. I repent and ask for forgiveness, in the name of Jesus. I surrender to the Lordship of Jesus. By the power of Your Holy Spirit, take control of my heart and lead me in Your path of righteousness. Thank you, Lord.”

If you said the prayer, Congratulations! Prayerfully look for a living church and meet the resident reverend, pastor or priest.



Prayer:

  1. Give unto the Lord, O you mighty ones, Give unto the Lord glory and strength. Give unto the Lord the glory due to His name; Worship the Lord in the Beauty of holiness.

  2. Have mercy upon me, O God, according to Your lovingkindness; according to the multitude of your tender mercies, blot out my transgressions, in Jesus’ name.

  3. Lord heal me of my sinful nature, remove the roots of jealousy and quarrel from me, in Jesus’ name.

  4. Let my will be lost in your will, in Jesus’ name.

 
 
 

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